Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Masterchef Presenter's Tweet Nothings

‘Would you like to jiggle my cabbage?’ It’s hardly the best chat-up line in the world, is it? But it seems to have done the trick for that wily old ingredient expert Gregg Wallace.

The self-proclaimed ‘cooking woman’s crumpet’ has found love again – in the shape of a biology teacher 17 years younger than him. And pundits are already breathlessly exclaiming that this is the first instance of a celebrity romance developing from Twitter.

The two first made contact when Heidi Brown, 27, joined the 2,000 or so bored housewives, students, and other Masterchef fans following his every spoonful. Discussing his famous dessert-driven mutterings like: “I want to take my shirt off and dive in,” and the unforgettable, "it's like a lemon has just picked you up by the ears and given you a big snog." (Maybe that’s how she felt?)

But it was when Egg posted his cabbage comment that he really hit gastronomic gold, prompting a number of saucy responses from fans. "Jiggling cabbage is not a euphemism,” he replied to Brown. “No more than shuffling shallots or sorting celery."

Shuffling shallots? Even Frankie Howerd would have baulked at that one.

The father-of-two then went on to explain to Brown how to sort celery before she asked him whether he knew he’d been described as a “weird crush” in a magazine. He couldn’t get to the keyboard quick enough. "Ever visit London? Give me a call, I'll buy you lunch," he said.

Egg, 44, who uses the name Pudding Face on Twitter, has persuaded her to give up her job in Cumbria and move in with him at his home in Kent. "He and Heidi are very happy," a spokesman for the former grocer told the Sunday Mirror.

But since the Twitter love came out in the tabloids, are the strains already beginning to show? Asked by one follower whether there were paparazzi hiding in the dustbins outside his door, and how his girlfriend was coping with all the attention, twice-married Egg tweeted back: “Calling Heidi, poor kid.”

I can hear the Mrs Merton questions now: “So what first attracted you to the millionaire Gregg Wallace?”

Last February, Egg bragged in a magazine article about how TV fame had helped get him girlfriends half his age.

“Television is very, very good for your love life,” he said. “The girls are getting younger too. I’m seeing one who’s 29, but they have been as young as 21. God that was hell.”

Television doesn’t get tougher than this...

Brown has now protected her Twitter updates, but lists her profile as: “Cumbria 20 something, Northerner, owner of a retired greyhound and a cuddly whippet. Loves Sancerre and all things cured.”

Perhaps that’s why she fell for the lovable old ham?


Anna said...

Lennie, love your blogs. Look forward to them daily.

I was wondering why a young pretty woman would want with the old guy, until I've read that he has money.

Nicky said...

It's funny isn't it? A bloke boasting about how easy it is for his fame to buy him the affections of a 20-something dolly should naturally be one of the most off-putting things ever for a 20-something lass. But not Heidi, ohhh no. My first thought is not "dirty old man", but rather (to both of them) "get yourself a bit of self-esteem, petal".

Lennie Nash said...

Thanks Anna. Ah yes the money! The leveller of all flaws.

Nicky: your petal comment made me laugh. Wonderful expression!

All the best,


MsMarmitelover said...

I think he's quite attractive.
But it's a clear case of short man has made good, can now get young tall birds.

Lennie Nash said...

Once again MsMarmitelover you have brilliantly summed up the situation a la Ecclestone, Cruise, and Moore.


TheFastestIndian said...

Urrrghh. I had no objections to Gregg the egg previously but those comments about his success with the laydeez were not required and are rather off-putting (to say the least).

Am liking the blog though!

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, but I just don't think she's that pretty. She's tall and slim, but the face is not so good. Hopefully this is about more than looks for Gregg.

Anonymous said...

Hmm what attracted Heidi to Gregg? Was it his looks or is she just after lining her pockets due to his wealth?