This is the first in a series of blog posts I
intend to post about my experimentations with cooking in a kettle. I was put on
to the idea by a bloke I met in Cambodia called Dirty Derek and cooked some
fairly decent meals in cheap hotel rooms out there.
But since I’ve been back, I’ve been experimenting
further with cooking times etc. and today nailed what I consider to be the
perfect boiled egg, with virtually idiot-proof instructions.
I’ve noticed people get particularly argumentative,
territorial even, about what constitutes a good soft-boiled egg. Everyone
seems to have their own view on how runny the yolk should be and the firmness
of the white.
Indeed, I once witnessed an argument in a waffle
bar on the subject. It was in a mountainous region of the US. I forget where. A
loud American (are there any others) sporting a lumberjack shirt covered in
wood chippings demanded his soft-boiled eggs be cooked for exactly three
minutes, with a match thrown in to stop them breaking.
The waitress said something like: “You want soft-boiled?”
“Yes I want soft-boiled!” said the red-bearded lumberjack,
repeating his cooking instructions, this time in greater detail.
“You want six minutes.”
“Three!” he said, with rather unnecessary
vivacity.
“It’s six here because of the altitude...”
“Fuck the altitude. Three minutes!” he said.
I won’t bore you with the details, but the
waitress was right and his eggs were a slime-fest, and he sent them back for
further cooking.
I can’t say I fully understand it, but it has
something to do with air pressure decreasing at higher altitudes, which means
water boils at a lower temperature, which means food takes longer to cook. Anyway,
I assume you’ll be cooking at less than 2,000ft or so, so don’t try this on an
aeroplane.
The perfect boiled egg is something that has a slight
droop of runny white at the tip of the egg, ensuring a golden runny freshness
to the yolk as you dip your bread in.
Some people - and I used to work a breakfast
section in a hotel for a short while, so I know exactly the sort of people -
believe this means the egg is slightly undercooked.
This, you can tell them, is utter nonsense,
because if you cook the egg to the point where you don’t have egg white dribble
at the egg’s peak, then what you will gain in the firmness of the white, you lose in the runniness of the yolk, which surely is the beauty of a decent
boiled egg.
The last point I want to raise is the issue of
soldiers, which reminds me of an old joke: “What’s the difference between
Italians and a piece of toast? You can make soldiers out of a piece of toast.”
Soldiers are of course made by cutting a piece of
buttered toast into strips, thin enough to dip into your runny egg. They
should, as the Savoy and others do it, come with a small mound of salt and one
of pepper on your plate, so you dip a soldier into the seasoning and then into
the egg.
Of course, when cooking in a kettle in a hotel
room or bedsitting room or such, you won’t, unless you’re extremely lucky, have
access to a toaster - and yes, I have tried toasting bread in a Corby trouser
press with rather unsatisfactory results.
So instead, you’ll have to make do with bread, cut
into soldiers. Firmer bread like granary is better for this, particularly the
crust. You don’t need a knife - you can butter the bread very effectively with
the teaspoon. If you don't have an egg cup, you can make one by cutting one of the egg compartments out of the egg box.
In short, this carefully-honed recipe really has taken any guess work out of the runny egg issue and is guaranteed to perform admirably in the breakfast stakes. The beauty of it, unlike my other experiments, is you don’t need an egg timer.
Soft-Boiled Eggs Cooked In A Kettle
Equipment
1 kettle
1 plate
1 teaspoon
1 wooden spoon
Ingredients
Two eggs
Water
Salt, Pepper
Bread
Butter
Empty the kettle and fill with enough cold water
to cover the eggs. In a conventional kettle this will be about one litre of
water. Using the wooden spoon, carefully roll the eggs in so they don’t break.
Pour a little more cold water in to cover the eggs if there is not enough.
Switch on the kettle and while you’re waiting for
it to boil, make your soldiers. When it is boiled, unplug the kettle. Leave for
one minute to take the sting out of the water and let the steam reduce.
Open the kettle’s lid and being careful not to
burn yourself roll the eggs out with a wooden spoon and put on your plate. Pour a small mound of pepper
and one of salt next to the eggs, then get to work with your soldiers. A cup of
tea made with the egg water is the perfect accompaniment.
