Reviews Of Down And Out In South East Asia

Well, my new book Down And Out In South East Asia has been out for a week or so now, and I’ve been very pleased - not to say hugely relieved - with the reviews so far.  Even from people I didn’t pay to write them (I’m joking of course - my ‘marketing budget’ wouldn’t keep Jay Rayner in L’Oreal shampoo for a week).

It’s the sequel to my bestselling food book Down And Out In Padstow And London, and tells the story of how failed chef and hack Lennie Nash sets off to eat his way through SE Asia, with a half-baked plan to buy a restaurant.

Along the way, he encounters a host of weird characters from frazzled bar owners to Walter Mitty CIA agents to seedy sexpats to ice zombies four years over on their visa. The book is an adventure story, spiked with a heavy dose of backpacker noir, through the eateries, street food stalls, and hazy bars of Cambodia, Thailand, and Vietnam.

There is an edited extract on Khmer 440 if you fancy a read - where Nash launches a doner kebab business in Cambodia with mixed results...

But anyway, here are the reviews I’ve had so far...

Chris How: “I loved this book, and it made me slightly ashamed of my own rather pedestrian gustatory experiences in Asia. This is no hippie-dippie 'how I found myself in Asia' travelogue: Alex shows us the darker, grittier side of life in another world, generously spiced with well-researched helpings of real Vietnamese and Cambodian cooking.

“I would recommend this book to anyone with an interest in Asian food or travel.”

Christian Williams: “Down and Out In South East Asia is a great read from start to finish. It takes you from the grim reality of 'The Hill' with its truly bizarre characters to the food markets of Vietnam and Cambodia, where some of the best eating is to be found.

“Finishing the book made me look into a holiday in South East Asia and I might just do it, but I will be giving 'The Hill' a wide berth.”

Claire: “In Down and Out, would-be chef Lennie navigates a precarious path in his quest to set up his own restaurant in a place in the sun.

“Whilst this travelogue follows the usual backpacker circuit of Thailand, Vietnam and Cambodia (the standard destinations for those 'doing Asia'), Down and Out stands out in that it takes you well off of the culinary beaten track and the staple dishes that feature in your Lonely Planet guide food section.

“Your taste buds tingle from the exotic flavours and street foods that Lennie seeks out with sweaty determination, tempting even the most seasoned traveller to want return to take a braver step in their digestive exploration of this part of the world.

“But as always, the longer you stay, the more you see, and Lennie has his mettle tested in this seemingly exotic idyll by its less attractive underbelly made up of a strange collection of misfits who have long since lost their grasp of reality and in some cases, their moral compass, if they ever had one.”

Chippy: “Thankfully it wasn't quite as bleak as 'London and Padstow' (which isn't to say I didn't love that one too). I'm looking forward to Lennie's next adventure.”

Celebrity Chefs’ Farts: The 2013 Food Trend Everyone Missed

After being bombarded with endless listicles predicting food trends for 2013, I wonder if there’s one that’s been left off? Or let off. And by that, I mean celebrity chefs’ farts. Perhaps sealed in vac-pack bags and poached gently in a sous vide water bath at exactly 37.2C for 37 minutes and then carefully unsealed at the table to be sniffed eagerly while licking a shit-caked brick served by a cook who talks about himself in the third person?

Eau de Heston? Ramsay No.5? And what about an iPod playing the actual sound of the famous chef’s trump that created such a umami-bubbling bouquet as thrill-seeking, trendsetter diners tuck into the food his slaves have cooked in his own name?

I’m joking, of course, but it does give me the opportunity to point out once again how many bullying, megalomaniac, deviant psychos you’ll find in professional kitchens. I wrote about this in my book Down And Out In Padstow And London about the insane characters you find behind the stove and the abuse they regularly inflict on their staff.

But I was still surprised to read about the actions of an apparently fairly well-known American chef who started out on a culinary mission five years ago to fart on every one of his 37 employees - including his accountant - and to chronicle his attacks in some sort of bilious journal, the same way a stalker might keep disturbingly detailed, breathless notes of interactions with victims.

The mystery carrot chopper claims to have had one or two shows on something called the Food Network, which narrows him down to about 100,000 and counting, because everyone’s a celebrity chef now aren’t they. You only have to do a quick news search on Google to find idiots you’ve never heard of donating mince pies they’ve incredibly made themselves - in their own time, and out of the very goodness of their heart - for some charitable cause and a few lines in the local paper.

The chef, who claims to have a restaurant in New York’s Meatpacking District, apparently even has a colour code for the offending farts he forced his employees to inhale, and has recorded his parps in a “rant and rave” section on Craigslist.

In the first strike, inflicted on a lowly kitchen worker on January 21 2008, he says: “It was hot as hell in the kitchen that night, sometimes I like to turn off the air conditioning to give my staff a bit of a stir, it makes their blood flow, their tempers flash, but for some reason, their discomfort turns out better quality food.

“So with all the air off, there is no air flow in our downstairs kitchen, and its small and cramped and really, really fucking hot, even in January. We have our plates in the warmer under our pass, so i was helping my hot apps guy plate a new fungi misti when it happened.

“He had the pan in his right hand, and we both reached to bend over to get the hot plate, i got there first, so he inhaled the entire hot air load that i let roar out of my pants. It was bold, loud, and completely unapologetic...”

He was so delighted, he decided to fart on the rest of his kitchen crew in alphabetical order of their surnames. One by one. And two days ago, his quest was complete.

“I think it took them out of whatever musical they thought they were living in, and made them alive, made them smell, made them want to throw up for a valid reason,” he muses.

“I think all farts should have a color assigned to them, because you know when that one fart comes out and lingers in the air and wont leave, I mean its obvious that is a green fart. Everyone should know this by now, its even documented in cartoons.

“A red fart is a spicy one, probably incurred by some type of spicy ethnic food with a great amount of chilis and onions. A yellow fart, well these are worse on the farter, than they are on the fartee. These are sick farts, the ones that are on the verge of being sharts. Just imagine the fart that comes after downing like gallon of vodka, eating like 5 gyros on st. marks, then bagging a hooker named natasha, who acts like she is from russia etc etc.”

The chef - who describes himself as “definitely known in and around NYC” and brags that he has had “several specials on foodnetwork (sic)” - promises to detail the story of each fart over the next 37 days. Well, he would have done if his odious postings hadn’t already been removed by Craigslist. If his tales are true, let’s hope there were lawyers reading...

Smoothie Firm's Olympic Ad In ‘Unfortunate' Link To John Terry Racism Case

They say timing is everything in business, so Innocent Drinks may be regretting a rather bizarre caption on one of its juice bottles.

The company, which is now majority owned by Coca-Cola, admitted the wording on its advert hailing itself as the official juice of the London Olympics was “pretty unfortunate” - but says it has nothing to do with the John Terry racism case splashed across the front pages this week.

On thousands of bottles of its drinks, under the headline “the juice of champions”, there is a picture of three ducks with the caption “Go on Terry, shift it mate. The Jamaicans are on our backs here...”

Observers were left scratching their heads about what it meant, with speculation it may have been a reference to the former England captain, who yesterday was cleared of a racially aggravated public order offence against QPR’s Anton Ferdinand, whose father is from the West Indies.

But apparently the chatty branding was just an ill-timed coincidence, according to a spokesman for the drinks firm.

“It’s pretty unfortunate, but we’ve actually had this caption on our juice bottles since before that whole saga,” he said.

Seeing as Terry was first accused of the racist volley of abuse nine months ago, Innocent were clearly well ahead in their Olympic marketing plans.

Last year, Britain’s biggest smoothie maker was hit by revelations that it held on to £520,000 pledged to its charitable foundation in 2007, and had not donated a penny since 2008 - despite printing on bottles that 10% of its profits went to charity.

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:: Little bit on my new food book 'Down And Out In Padstow And London' in the latest issue of Essential Catering magazine.

The Food They Won’t Be Serving At The London Olympics

With the Olympics just a few weeks away, it appears every feature writer in the country has been hard at work trying to find ways to nose articles on London 2012.

We’ve had daily pieces on the stately homes, towns, former pit villages and rough estates the Olympic Torch has passed through on its 70-day journey around Britain. Nature writers penning columns on the 2,000 ash, alder, cherry, willow, birch and hazel trees planted in the Olympic Park. And history nuts casting their eyes back 64 years to the last London Olympics, when athletes apparently travelled by bus, stayed in shabby flats, and sewed their own kit.

Then, there was rationing. Now there are trendy food markets and pop ups on every corner, and a never ending appetite, it seems, for food and drink features with an Olympic theme, however desperately crowbarred in. I even spotted a journalist the other day on Twitter desperately asking whether anyone “could think of a way of linking a feature about drink with the Olympics”.

There have been endless, clichéd articles about how British food is trying to throw off its stodgy image of stringy beef and boiled, overcooked vegetables with everything. Apparently, according to some food writers, the world still sees us a culinary wasteland built on deep-fried Mars bars, instant mash and baked beans. Where have they been for the past 20 years?

Even David Cameron has got in on the act, espousing the virtues of sticky toffee pudding from Cartmel, oysters from Whitstable, salt marsh lamb from North Wales, and smoked salmon from Scotland, as the key to our cultural identity - showcasing “our heritage, openness, creativity and diversity". He didn’t mention what he plumps for at his country suppers.

We’re told spectators will be able to enjoy roast pork on a roll, Red Leicester cheese and apple chutney sandwiches, and, of course, fish and chips - as well as dishes from far away places like Asia, Africa, and the Malvinas. Roast penguin anyone? And if that wasn’t enough, the world's biggest McDonald's in the Olympic Park. Well, they had to do something for the sponsors I suppose.

But however ethnically diverse the offerings, thankfully you won’t find some of the foods I ate while covering the last Olympics in Beijing. In the weeks I spent there suffocating in smog, I wrote an article on the city’s Donghuamen night market, which the Chinese government had rebuilt to showcase 100 "dainty snacks" from all corners of China. Dainty wasn’t the word immediately on my lips when I conducted a Bushtucker trial with tourists in the market. Here it is, if you want a read...

I THREW up five minutes after visiting Donghuamen night market. It wasn't the snake, or the scorpion, the lamb's penis, testicles, bees, centipede, or the beer I downed trying to banish the taste. It was the silkworm.

It exploded in my mouth and it was everything I could do to stop myself instantly gagging on the musty, yellow gunk. I managed to last until the filming stopped - and then threw up in one of the bins.

All to the bemusement of the locals, who clearly found the array of creepy crawlies, and other things that go crunch in the night, delicious.

A sign in English said the people's government had rebuilt the market, off Beijing's central Wangfujing Street, to showcase 100 "dainty snacks" from all corners of China.

They said they wanted to "enhance the friendly exchanges with foreign countries."

But when I offered the delicacies to the hordes of Olympics fans who had descended on the infamous tourist spot, I think the most complimentary comment was "absolutely disgusting".

Only the French seemed to like it. A gaggle crowded round the scorpion stand and made pleasing, lip-smacking gestures in the way they would if they were tucking into a truffle or slice of foie gras, or a frog for that matter.

The whole thing was a dreadful experience, but the politburo was right: it did lead to some friendly - and hilarious - exchanges. I even found myself having a new-found respect for the likes of Peter Andre and Paul Burrell.

The Bushtucker Trials on TV show I'm A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here looks easy when you're munching crisps on the sofa.

But when you get that first stomach convulsion, and insect legs stick in your throat, and the deep-fried, rancid taste is with you for the next 12 hours, it takes a lot more guts than you think.

"What do you think of the silkworm then?" I ask Canadian Kim Warburton, who is on a fact-finding mission for the Vancouver Games in 2010.

"It's awful. It's definitely a local taste - and it's still in my teeth!"

Her colleague Sarah Triantafillou is having none of it. I offer her a bit of snake, or was it a baby seahorse? But the most adventurous she'll go is the noodles.

"What did you think of the baby eels?" I ask. "What! No way!" she shrieks, clutching her mouth.

A Mexican guy butts in, shaking his head with a hangdog expression. "The scorpion was interesting," he muses.

I eventually get an American, in obligatory baseball cap, to eat a three-inch centipede. "It looks horrible, what does it taste like?" he grimaces. "It tastes like centipede," I tell him.

He crunches away with a pained look. "It's terrible - it's as bad as it looks. Errr centipede!" I offer him a beer to remove the taste.

"No thanks," he says. "If I drink too much beer, I might eat another one."


:: My new book 'Down And Out In Padstow And London' about my disastrous attempt to train as a chef, including stints at Heston Blumenthal's Fat Duck, Rick Stein's and other restaurants, is available as a paperback and eBook on Amazon CLICK HERE

A Message In A Bottle To Rick Stein

You meet some very strange people in Cambodia. It’s a place full of misfits and loners. Expats escaping from something, or looking for something, and nearly always reinventing themselves in the process. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever come across such a high concentration of alcoholics, junkies, perverts, arseholes, and compulsive liars.

For instance, I met a guy the other day who said he was the executive chef of a group of luxury hotels. He walked into the bar, introduced himself, and then held court on his barstool telling us how difficult it was drumming the basics of hygiene into his Cambodian cooks. We got chatting and I told him about my dismal failure retraining as a chef and the book, Down And Out In Padstow And London, I’d written about my experiences.

I told him how the cheffing door had been opened when Rick Stein agreed to let me do a week in his Seafood Restaurant in Cornwall. The executive chef suddenly butted in.

“He’s one of my best friends!” he beamed. “He even sent me a long email when Chalky died. He loved that dog. He was devastated.”

He told me they’d done their chef training together in France, and hinted at the drunken nights they’d had. I listened on, but was thinking of something else. I’d been wanting to send the celebrity chef an email thanking him again for the opportunity he gave me, and how if he hadn’t, my book would probably never have been written.

But I’d lost Stein’s email address and knew if I sent a message through his PR people it would probably never get to him. I’d have more chance of sending him a message in a bottle from one of Cambodia’s soon-to-be-developed Robinson Crusoe islands.

So when the executive chef eventually paused to take a swig of beer, I asked if he’d mind passing my thank you letter on to the TV chef. He handed me a smart business card with his email on it.

“Not a problem,” he said, “Oh, we had some times together!”

Then he stopped suddenly and looked slightly angry and bitter.

“Do you know the difference between him and me? Do you know how he got to where he is and I didn’t?” He didn’t wait for an answer: “Luck!”

A couple of days later I wrote a thank you letter to Stein and emailed it to the executive chef. I didn’t hear anything back. Not even anything to say he’d got it. Then a couple of weeks passed and my suspicions were finally confirmed when I was back in the same Irish bar talking to the owner Ronan.

He told me the executive chef had been in a few days before and tried some of his Irish stew - a dish tongue-in-cheekily described in his bar adverts as “the best Irish stew in Cambodia”.

We’d been chatting about the best way to cook it because the price of lamb out here - $47 for a small frozen leg imported from New Zealand - makes it impossible to make. At least at a price the cheapskate losers in Sihanoukville are prepared to shell out for. Goat would have been the next best option, but we couldn’t get hold of that, and when I jokingly suggested dog meat Ronan looked appalled.

“My dog would smell it! He’d never come near me again!” he whimpered.

So I told him to use beef instead, but to throw in a few anchovies to give it a richer flavour. He made the stew with the usual chunks of carrots, potatoes and onions, and then showed me his secret of mashing up a few of the spuds and putting them in a thin layer in the bottom of each bowl, and pouring the stew on top. It was a nice touch and kept the broth high in the bowl while allowing people to thicken the thin liquor to their liking without having to do the mashing themselves.

He told me the executive chef had raved about it in the pub. Ronan began laughing, his arched eyebrows wiggling away.


“‘Oh, he said, that’s a lovely bit of lamb! That's neck fillet isn't it?’ Fucking lamb! And he’s an executive chef! People were listening, so I just played on. What the fuck could I do? ‘I love lamb!’ he says. ‘It’s my favourite fucking meat.’ What the fuck! You couldn’t make that up now could you!”

No wonder the bloke hadn’t replied to my email. It probably wasn’t even his business card. The real executive chef was probably thinking who the hell is this idiot banging on about Rick Stein. I had to get the letter to him myself. The next day, I searched through my contacts list again for the TV cook’s email, and then decided to send a message to his press department, asking them if they would mind passing my letter on to Stein in between dunking digestives.

Surprisingly, I got an email from his PA the next day. She said she had forwarded the letter to Stein. And a week or so later, an email arrived from the celebrity chef, thanking me for my letter and saying: “I've heard a lot about the book and am ordering it.”

I can’t tell you how pleased I am. I’ve always liked the man. I know I rant about celebrity chefs and say they should all be napalmed, but like Fergus Henderson or the late Keith Floyd, who sparked the pandemic of TV cooks, he’s so different from the morons that plague our screens, newspapers, magazines, billboards, government campaigns, and stock cube adverts. He’s got a brain for a start.

Can you imagine Gordon Ramsay, James Martin, Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall or Gary Rhodes even talking to you unless there was something in it for them, let alone arranging for a stranger and complete novice to do a week in one of their restaurants? And the lesser known TV chefs trying to squeeze their way up the rat cage walls are even worse.

I wonder what Stein will think of my book? I think he comes across pretty well, even if I do mention him in my tirade about celebrity chefs never actually being in the kitchen. I know he’s touchy about the name Padstein too, and there’s plenty on that.

But I’m far harsher on other TV chefs like Heston Blumenthal, who I only saw once in the three weeks I worked at the Fat Duck, and that was just a glimpse of him on the stairs as he took a break from filming in the lab. He didn’t even come down to the prep room to shake our hands and thank us for working for free in his restaurant. I wonder if that nutter in the bar knows him as well?


Book Update:

I want to apologise for the very poor delivery times of the paperback version of my book Down And Out In Padstow And London. For reasons that are beyond me, Amazon have had problems distributing recent batches. It’s something to do with the wrong metadata being input, whatever that means. But Completely Novel who print my book have promised they are trying to sort it out.

I don’t know how long it will continue, but I’ve been told that books ordered through Amazon will arrive soon, and they will obviously not take your money until they do post the book to your address. To help remedy this, an eBay page has been set up to sell my book. So if you want the book in the next few days, then cancel your order at Amazon and buy the book HERE... For the eBook version click HERE...

Book Review: Down and Out in Padstow and London by Alex Watts

A newspaper review of my book in the Maidenhead Advertiser - original article HERE...

By Nicola Hine

If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen – or so the saying goes.

But how many people can actually say they've leapt out of the frying pan and into the fire in pursuit of the career they've always dreamed of?

Lennie Nash did when he ditched the relative comfort of the world of newspaper journalism in a bid to become a professional chef.

And while the results were pretty disastrous, the risk has brought success in the form of Down and Out in Padstow and London – the written account of his experiences.

An honest and enjoyable read, it begins when Lennie – better known as Burnham-based journalist Alex Watts – engineers a chat with TV chef Rick Stein and secures himself work experience in one of the restaurateur's Cornwall kitchens.

He's long dreamed of owning a seaside fish restaurant of his own and makes the decision to 'kick off the slippers and feel alive again'.

The need takes him from one restaurant to another, ranging from the most basic of establishments to the Michelin-starred kitchens of cooking royalty.

It brings about a failed audition for Masterchef, which sees Lennie make sushi in a bid to impress Greg 'the egg' Wallace and John 'the toad' Torode.

It also introduces a whole host of questionable characters ranging from a racist homophobe to a stroppy 19-year-old who locks him in a walk-in chiller.

Lennie's laugh-out-loud anecdotes include dressing in bin liners to pluck pheasants with a helpmate who does puppet shows with the dead birds' heads, and turning up to a placement at Heston's most famous restaurant armed with two knives in a Tesco bag.

In fact, arguably the highlight of the book is his time at The Fat Duck in Bray, which he describes as 'a three-star Michelin restaurant famous for concoctions like snail porridge, bacon and egg ice cream and a food poisoning outbreak that struck down 500 diners'.

From peeling grapefruits to prising open oysters – both equally painful but for different reasons – Lennie's jobs at 'the gastronomic equivalent of the centre of the universe' are a brilliant insight into Blumenthal's lair, although the real secrets remain closely guarded.

The whole book is a real eye-opener into the differences between the TV image and the reality of the kitchen, particularly where celebrity chefs are concerned.

It's sharp, easy to read and almost impossible to put down, whether you're genuinely tempted to follow in Lennie's footsteps or you'd rather stick to watching Masterchef on the sofa.

Personally I think I'll stick to my desk for now – but I look forward to a sequel.

:: Down And Out In Padstow And London is available as a paperback and eBook on Amazon CLICK HERE

Other Newspaper Articles...

Padstow Chef Scores Surprise Bestseller

Down And Out In Padstow And London Becomes Cooking Bestseller

Failed Chef's Book Becomes Kitchen Bestseller

Twitter Reviews:

"Cracking read...It's great - seek it out. Raw, honest, funny, great stories..." @eatlikeagirl

"Just finished reading Alex Watts’ terrific book - must read for anyone interested in food/cooking/restaurants." @jteramsden

"Bought your book and am hugely enjoying. Funny, engaging, interesting, lively." - @oliverthring

"Great book, Alex - a one-sitting read! Love the Chelsea-Barca scene! " @MarkLewis32

"A rattling good read." - @chrispople

"Sensational account of a chef’s life, couldn't put it down. Get it from Amazon now!" @Fishermansarms

"It's a fab read. The Fat Duck chapters are class." - @Mcmoop

"Really enjoyed it. Such refreshing food writing. Looking forward to your sequel..." @Jen_foodmag

"So this morning I bought Alex Watts’ book and now at the end off the day the book is done. Really enjoyed it - so easy and funny to read." @darrencoslett

"Bloody loving it..." @babaduck71

"Deserves to be bestseller - great book." @Blostins

"You will not be able to put it down - great read." @MTomkinsonChef

"Great, great stuff." @VictoriaHaschka

"Loving @alexwatts book, Down & Out In Padstow & London. A must read for wannabe chefs!" @londoneating

"A good read." @matkiwi

"A must read!" @brockhallfarm

"Currently motoring through your book. Great read - quite an eye-opener. Hopefully not an old wound-opener for you!" @drdickdixon

"Really enjoying Alex Watts’ book Down and out in Padstow and London. Worth a read." @Christian_Ace

"Thought the book was great, felt exhausted just imagining the work levels (and monotony - e.g. grapefruit!) " @applelisafood

"Just read Down And Out In Padstow & London by @alexwatts. Good read but couldn't take heat of being a chef." @karenmediawales

"Loved your book. Thanks for such a fascinating read." @hubbs

"I just finished reading your book, I very much enjoyed it. Bravo." @hungerincardiff

"Thanks for a good read, made my commute a lot nicer. My wife who's a Masterchef fan didn't find it as amusing as I did though!" @erik_me

"If you claim to be a foodie you MUST buy this book." @CorkGourmetGuy

"A great read about the reality of working at The Fat Duck & other less famed restaurants."  @alanbertram

"Very funny, very close to the bone." @AmeliaHanslow

"A great read and must have book for anyone in the industry." @philwhite101

"Thoroughly enjoyed it." @rosechadderton

"Excellent!" @MissCay

"Just finished your book, and loved it! Thanks for ending on a happy note; it needed it after all the reality ;-)" @voorschot

"Fab account of psycho chefs, plus work experience with Heston and Stein." @Laurajanekemp

"Excellent read & loved the ‘scary duck’ tale! I look forward to the follow up book (no pressure ;D). Great memories of first being addressed as chef." @granthawthorne

"I'm loving your book. Very enjoyable. Some great one-liners. "His legs wobbled like a crab on stilts" had me chuckling." @griptonfactor

"Highly recommended. A great book about changing careers for his love of cooking." @Whatsinmymouth

"Downloaded the book last Sunday and finished it the same day! Great read." @MTomkinsonChef

"Very funny." @SkyRuth

"Any of you who have flirted with chefdom, go and immediately download this book from Amazon - Down and Out in Padstow and London. Great read." @el_duder

"Truly brilliant." @kcassowary

"Just rattled through Down And Out in Padstow and London by Alex Watts in no time at all, what a great book." @leejamesburns

"It's brilliant, a fine piece of work. If you've ever wanted to peer into a professional kitchen I can't recommend it highly enough." @acidadam

"Fantastic read - the English Kitchen Confidential!" @cabbagemechanic

"A great eBook to buy about serving your time (literally!) as a trainee chef." @OkBayBach

"Great read." @rankamateur

"Don't start reading it if you have things to do:)" @NorthernSnippet

"Great book...couldn't put it down, read it non-stop on a train and finished it in one day."  @chunkymunki

"Jolly good read, feel free to do one more. " @esbens

Padstow Chef Scores Surprise Bestseller

A friend on holiday in Cornwall spotted this billboard poster about my book outside a newsagent in Porthcothan Bay...

Story in the Cornish Guardian - original article HERE...

Alex's Fabulous Failure

A WRITER has told of his surprise after his book about his failure to make it as a chef stormed to the top of the Amazon Kindle pro-cooking best-seller chart.

Alex Watts' book Down And Out In Padstow And London is a humorous account of the years he spent training to be a chef, including stints at Heston Blumenthal's famous Fat Duck restaurant and Rick Stein's kitchens in Padstow.

The eBook version was an overnight success, sparking dozens of good reviews on Twitter, and is in the Top 40 of the Kindle Store's food and drink bestseller chart, above the likes of Delia and Nigella.

It is also the best-selling eBook in Amazon's professional cooking chart. Alex, 41, a journalist and sometime cook from Burnham, Bucks, said: "I've been really pleased with the success, especially as it's self-published and I've just had to rely on word of mouth.

"But it is ironic that a book detailing my disastrous attempt to train as a professional chef is now top of the Kindle cooking chart. There's a section on my failed audition for Masterchef, which I think helped a lot because so many people watched the last show."

The paperback version came out on Amazon last month, but Alex hadn't even seen a copy until his father Brian, 73, flew out to Cambodia, where Alex is writing his second book based on a cook's tour of south east Asia.

The book describes what happens behind the scenes of Michelin-starred restaurants and lesser establishments – and the extraordinary characters who inhabit them. It begins with Alex's decision to give up his job as a journalist, and a fateful meeting with Cornwall's Rick Stein.

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Story in the Maidenhead Advertiser - original story HERE...

Failed Chef's Book Tops The Charts

By Nicola Hine

A writer's account of his disastrous attempts to make it as a chef is proving to be a huge hit on Amazon's online book charts.

Journalist Alex Watts, of Lent Rise Road in Burnham, wrote Down And Out In Padstow And London as a humorous take on the years he spent training to be a professional cook.

Stints at Michelin-starred restaurants including Heston Blumenthal's Fat Duck in Bray followed before, unable to keep up with the younger chefs, he gave up the dream and returned to the office.

So it was all the more ironic when his tales stormed to the top of Amazon's Kindle books professional cooking chart, where he remains within the top five.

The 41-year-old said: "I've been really pleased with the success, especially as it's self-published and I've just had to rely on word of mouth."

The book describes Alex's various experiences in the world of cooking, from 16-hour shifts in a gastropub to a failed audition for Masterchef. Anecdotes from his Fat Duck days include the painstaking process of peeling grapefruit segments.

A former Slough and Windsor Express reporter, Alex quit his job at Sky News aged 36 and trained as a chef for two years after a fateful meeting with Rick Stein.

:: Down And Out In Padstow And London is available as a paperback and eBook on Amazon CLICK HERE

Down And Out In Padstow And London Becomes Cooking Best-Seller

Bit more press - story about my book in the Slough And Windsor Observer - original article HERE...(please note, there is a space between 'pen' and 'is' in the headline.)

Pen is mightier than the kitchen

A FORMER chef who gave up his frying pan to write about his cooking failure saw his first book rise to the top of a best-selling chart.

Alex Watts' book 'Down and Out in Padstow and London', an insight into the unsuccessful years he spent training to be a chef, hit the top of the Amazon Kindle professional cooking best-seller chart.

The 41-year-old, from Burnham, had stints at celebrity chef Heston Blumenthal's famous Fat Duck restaurant and Rick Stein's kitchens in Cornwall - but failed to make the grade.

"It's ironic that a book detailing my disastrous attempt to train as a professional chef is now top of the professional cooking chart!" Mr Watts said.

"There's a section on my failed audition for Masterchef, which I think helped a lot because so many people watched the last show.

"I've been really pleased with the success, especially as it's self-published and I've just had to rely on word of mouth."

The eBook version is also in the top 40 of the Kindle Store's food and drink best-seller chart - above the work of TV chefs Delia Smith and Nigella Lawson.

The paperback version of the book came out last month but Mr Watts didn't get his hands on a copy until father Brian, 73, flew out to Cambodia, where Mr Watts is penning his second book based on a cook's tour of South-East Asia.

He added: "When Dad arrived in Phnom Penh with a couple of copies, it was a very strange and proud moment to see it finally in print. I've been really pleased with the sales of the Kindle book, so hopefully the printed version may do as well.

"It's definitely a book aimed at armchair chefs and foodies who'd love to learn the trade first-hand from the professionals, braving the stress, 16-hour days, and low pay of kitchen life, but are far too sensible to do so."

MORE: Failed Chef's Book Becomes Kitchen Best-Seller

:: Down And Out In Padstow And London is available as a paperback and eBook on Amazon CLICK HERE
To buy the paperback from Amazon seller Wattzbooks at a discounted price, CLICK HERE

Failed Chef's Book Becomes Kitchen Best-Seller

Bit of press - story about my book in The Cornish Guardian. Original article HERE...

Surprise Bestseller Features Alex's Stint As Padstow Chef

PADSTOW'S most famous kitchens have a starring role in a surprise bestseller which has stormed to the top of the online cookbook charts.

Rick Stein's restaurant and café feature in a new book by a journalist who jacks in the day job to try to make it as a chef.

His experiences, which ended in failure, led Alex Watts to write Down And Out In Padstow And London.

The humorous account recounts the years he spent training to be a chef, including stints at Heston Blumenthal's famous Fat Duck restaurant and Rick Stein's establishments in Cornwall.

The eBook version has become an overnight success, sparking dozens of good reviews on Twitter.

It is also the bestselling eBook in Amazon's professional cooking chart and is in the Top 40 of the Amazon Kindle Store's food and drink bestseller chart, above the likes of Delia Smith and Nigella Lawson.

Alex, 41, a journalist and sometime cook from Burnham in Buckinghamshire, said: "I've been really pleased with the success, especially as it's self-published and I've just had to rely on word of mouth.

"But it is ironic that a book detailing my disastrous attempt to train as a professional chef is now top of the Kindle professional cooking chart. There's a section on my failed audition for Masterchef, which I think helped a lot because so many people watched the last show."

The paperback version of the book came out on Amazon last month, but Alex hadn't even seen a copy until his father Brian, 73, flew out to Cambodia, where Alex is writing his second book, based on a cook's tour of South East Asia.

"When dad arrived in Phnom Penh with a couple of copies, it was a very strange and proud moment to see it finally in print," said Alex.

"I've been really pleased with the sales of the Kindle book, so hopefully the printed version may do as well.

"It's definitely a book aimed at armchair chefs and foodies who'd love to learn the trade first-hand from the professionals, braving the stress, 16-hour days, and low pay of kitchen life, but are far too sensible to do so ... ."

The book describes what really happens behind the scenes of both Michelin-starred restaurants and lesser establishments – and the extraordinary, larger-than-life characters who inhabit them.

It begins with Alex's decision to give up his job as a journalist, and a fateful meeting with TV cook Rick Stein, when the cheffing door is opened.

There follow stints in the kitchens at Padstow, work as a commis chef under a crazed former football hooligan, 16-hour shifts as a kitchen slave in a gastropub, and the rigours of the Fat Duck.

Unable to keep up with the younger chefs around him, he gives up the dream and returns to office life, only to find he can't forget about the experience and puts pen to paper.

MORE: Being Wined And Steined In Padstow

My new book on training to be a chef, including stints at Rick Stein's and the Fat Duck, is available as a paperback and eBook on Amazon CLICK HERE

"Reading this book is a serious test for any food writer. Not only has Alex Watts done what all of us say we would like to do, tested his mettle in a professional kitchen, he also writes about his experiences so well that you spend as much time being jealous of his writing skills as you do of his experiences. It's an annoyingly enjoyable read." - Simon Majumdar

Twitter Reviews:

"A rattling good read." - @chrispople

"It's a fab read. The Fat Duck chapters are class." - @Mcmoop

"If you claim to be a foodie you MUST buy this book." - @CorkGourmetGuy

"Bought your book and am hugely enjoying. Funny, engaging, interesting, lively." - @oliverthring

"A great read about the reality of working at The Fat Duck & other less famed restaurants." - @alanbertram

"Very funny, very close to the bone." - @AmeliaHanslow

"A great read and must have book for anyone in the industry." - @philwhite101

"Thoroughly enjoyed it." - @rosechadderton

"Excellent!" - @MissCay

"Just finished your book, and loved it! Thanks for ending on a happy note; it needed it after all the reality ;-)" - @voorschot

"Fab account of psycho chefs, plus work experience with Heston and Stein." - @Laurajanekemp

"Excellent read & loved the ‘scary duck’ tale! I look forward to the follow up book (no pressure ;D). Great memories of first being addressed as chef." - @granthawthorne

"Sensational account of a chef’s life, couldn't put it down. Get it from Amazon now!" - @Fishermansarms

"I'm loving your book. Very enjoyable. Some great one-liners. "His legs wobbled like a crab on stilts" had me chuckling." - @griptonfactor

"Highly recommended. A great book about changing careers for his love of cooking." @Whatsinmymouth

"Downloaded the book last Sunday and finished it the same day! Great read." - @MTomkinsonChef

"Very funny." - @SkyRuth

"Any of you who have flirted with chefdom, go and immediately download this book from Amazon - Down and Out in Padstow and London. Great read." - @el_duder

"Truly brilliant." - @kcassowary

"Just rattled through Down And Out in Padstow and London by Alex Watts in no time at all, what a great book." - @leejamesburns

"It's brilliant, a fine piece of work. If you've ever wanted to peer into a professional kitchen I can't recommend it highly enough." - @acidadam

"Fantastic read - the English Kitchen Confidential!" - @cabbagemechanic

"A great eBook to buy about serving your time (literally!) as a trainee chef." - @OkBayBach

"Great read." - @rankamateur

"Don't start reading it if you have things to do:)" - @NorthernSnippet

"Great book...couldn't put it down, read it non-stop on a train and finished it in one day." - @chunkymunki

"Jolly good read, feel free to do one more." - @esbens

There are also 12 reviews on its Amazon page.

Down And Out In Padstow And London - The Paperback

I’m delighted to say my new book - Down and Out In Padstow and London - about training to be a chef, including stints at Rick Stein's and the Fat Duck, is now out as a paperback.

I haven’t seen a copy of it yet because I’m in Cambodia and stuff takes about three years to get here, and even when it does, it usually gets nicked in the post.

But you’ll be pleased to hear it was put together by a professional - Jo Harrison - who has proof-read the first copy and made a couple of tweaks, and from the photos (above and below) she sent me, it looks even better than I was hoping.

As you’re probably bored of me saying, I’m very pleased with the feedback and reviews I’ve had for the eBook version, which is still in the top 20 of the Kindle food and drink bestsellers chart.

And because of the number of people who said they’d rather wait for the printed version, I’m hoping the paperback may do even better.

It’s available now on Amazon for £7.99 plus delivery - CLICK HERE.

Anyway, I know things are tough in these belt-tightening times, but if you have a few quid to spare and fancy a delve into the madness of the professional kitchen, then I reckon you might like it - and you’ll get a really nice, warm feeling knowing you’ve kept me in noodles for another day.

What’s it about? The description on the back cover is:

“A humorous account of what really happens behind the scenes of both Michelin-starred restaurants and lesser establishments - and the extraordinary, larger-than-life characters who inhabit them. The book begins with Lennie Nash's decision to give up his job as a journalist, aged 40, and a fateful meeting with Rick Stein, when the cheffing door is opened.

“There follow stints in the kitchens at Padstow, a failed audition for Masterchef, work as a commis chef under a crazed ex-football hooligan, 16-hour shifts as a kitchen slave in a gastropub, and the rigours of the Fat Duck. Unable to keep up with the younger chefs around him, he gives up the dream and returns to office life, only to find the itch starting again...

“The book is aimed at the umpteen armchair chefs and foodies who would love to learn the trade first-hand from the professionals, braving the stress, 16-hour days, and low pay of kitchen life, but are far too sensible to do so.”

The blurb is:

“Reading this book is a serious test for any food writer. Not only has Alex Watts done what all of us say we would like to do, tested his mettle in a professional kitchen, he also writes about his experiences so well that you spend as much time being jealous of his writing skills as you do of his experiences. It's an annoyingly enjoyable read.”
- Simon Majumdar, author of two food/travel memoirs, Eat My Globe and Eating For Britain.

Twitter Reviews:

"A rattling good read." - @chrispople

"It's a fab read. The Fat Duck chapters are class." - @Mcmoop

"If you claim to be a foodie you MUST buy this book." -@CorkGourmetGuy

"Bought your book and am hugely enjoying. Funny, engaging, interesting, lively." - @oliverthring

"A great read about the reality of working at The Fat Duck & other less famed restaurants." - @alanbertram

"Very funny, very close to the bone." - @AmeliaHanslow

"A great read and must have book for anyone in the industry." - @philwhite101

"Thoroughly enjoyed it." - @rosechadderton

"Excellent!" - @MissCay

"Just finished your book, and loved it! Thanks for ending on a happy note; it needed it after all the reality ;-)" - @voorschot

"Fab account of psycho chefs, plus work experience with Heston and Stein." - @Laurajanekemp

"Excellent read & loved the ‘scary duck’ tale! I look forward to the follow up book (no pressure ;D). Great memories of first being addressed as chef." - @granthawthorne

"Sensational account of a chef’s life, couldn't put it down. Get it from Amazon now!" - @Fishermansarms

"I'm loving your book. Very enjoyable. Some great one-liners. "His legs wobbled like a crab on stilts" had me chuckling." - @griptonfactor

"Highly recommended. A great book about changing careers for his love of cooking." - @Whatsinmymouth

"Downloaded the book last Sunday and finished it the same day! Great read." - @MTomkinsonChef

"Very funny." - @SkyRuth

"Any of you who have flirted with chefdom, go and immediately download this book from Amazon - Down and Out in Padstow and London. Great read." - @el_duder

"Truly brilliant." - @kcassowary

"Just rattled through Down And Out in Padstow and London by Alex Watts in no time at all, what a great book." - @leejamesburns

"It's brilliant, a fine piece of work. If you've ever wanted to peer into a professional kitchen I can't recommend it highly enough." - @acidadam

"Fantastic read - the English Kitchen Confidential!" - @cabbagemechanic

"A great eBook to buy about serving your time (literally!) as a trainee chef." - @OkBayBach

"Great read." - @rankamateur

"Don't start reading it if you have things to do:)" - @NorthernSnippet

"Great book...couldn't put it down, read it non-stop on a train and finished it in one day." - @chunkymunki

"Jolly good read, feel free to do one more." - @esbens

There are also 12 reviews on its Amazon Kindle page...

Go on, as so many of you said, there’s nothing like the smell, touch and teacup stains of a ‘real’ book...

Down And Out In Padstow And London Pt 2

Whenever the subject of eBooks comes up in the media, it inevitably leads to another drawn-out, weary discussion about the future of the traditional publishing industry, and whether the rise of Kindles, iPads and other eReaders will lead to the death of printed books.

The short and long answer is, of course, no. But it's amazing how many people are paid to write 2,000 words to say it. There will always be folk who prefer the feel, smell, and tea cup stains of printed books. The dog-eared pages, the scribbles in the margin, the ability to store it in the bookcase and return to it like a lost friend at a later date. Or just the ability to store it in the bookcase with hundreds of other weighty tomes to make visitors think you're far better read than you really are.

You will hear statistics quoted about how four million Kindle Fires were sold in the US over Christmas, and how some indie authors are now selling 1,000 eBooks for every printed book they sell, and how many big name writers are turning their backs on publishing houses and all their middle men to take the far more profitable route of self-publishing.

Look on Twitter, and there's always some celebrity twatting about how they've just got themselves a Kindle, or why does it only want to connect with the US store, and is this normal? And fans are like sheep after all, so for every sleb that buys one, there are probably a hundred people who'll rush out and do the same.

But you don't hear so much about the underlying reasons for this change. Just a lot of hand-rubbing, gloating, and stat-quoting from geeks who seem to be allergic to paper for some reason. I used to work for a boss at an online news service who was the same about newspapers.

"This isn't a newspaper!" he would snap whenever his editorial judgement was questioned. We used to wonder whether his Dad had beaten him with rolled-up newspapers when he was a kid.

A friend of mine came to visit me in Cambodia before Christmas - before I began grappling with the formatting gremlins of publishing my own eBook, Down And Out In Padstow And London. He left me with a paperback, The Sisters Brothers by Patrick deWitt, he'd bought to read on the plane.

It was a fantastic read, and I'd highly recommend it to anyone who's looking for a road trip-style novel featuring two hired killers set in cowboy times, somewhere between the California Gold Rush and the introduction of toothpaste.

But the thing that struck me most was the price - £12.99 for a paperback! I'd only been away for a year, what had happened? Surely they were £8 or £9 at most when I went away? Thirteen quid for a novel is a hell of a luxury for many people in these belt-tightening times.

The author's making little on it, so is the publishing house - which is why so many are haemorrhaging cash these days. It's all down to the increasing scarcity of the world's precious resources. It costs a small fortune to produce and distribute a paperback these days - the electricity, the diesel, the paper, the ink - not to mention paying off everyone else in the supply chain suffering similar rising costs.

EBooks on the other hand cost virtually nothing to produce and deliver, and are so ecologically friendly (if you forget about the puppies that have been drowned in hydroelectric dams to create them) they make you feel wonderful and saintly when you buy one.

If you consider that the whole point of books is to spread knowledge and entertain, then the rise of eBooks can only be a good thing - however much you miss the dusty, fusty, library smell of a 'real' book. Because you can get two or three for the same price, and in some cases with all the 'Indian curry secrets' and diet books selling for pennies on Amazon, should you ever want them - about 20.

Knowing that most regular authors get a quid or two for each paperback they sell, I priced my Kindle book accordingly, which means after Amazon have taken their generous cut, I can sell mine for the price of half a lager to make the same return, whereas I'll have to sell the printed version for £7 or £8, or the price of half a lager in Reykjavik.

As I say, the relative cheapness of eBooks can only be a good thing. If you looked at the news yesterday and saw Nick Clegg jumping up and down like mop-haired, cheese-botherer Alex James at a KFC processing plant about how great it was that McDonald's was creating 2,500 new jobs for young people in the UK, then you can see where the new jobs and wages are coming from.

Not skilled, well-paid sectors, but burger flipping and being forced to say "welcome to McDonald's" every few seconds. And as they'll be on a salary little more than minimum wage, how many of the next generation will be prepared to spend two hours' pay and more on a paperback?

But it's not just the price of eBooks - it's their transportability. I've been travelling around SE Asia for the past year or so hauling around a small collection of books - five at most is usually all I can cram into my laptop bag, and there's never any room in my rucksack.

I always keep my Far Flung Floyd book for old times, I can't bear to part with that. But when I've read them all, I trade them in for a fraction of the price I bought them for at the many second hand book shops they've got out here in Cambodia, and then buy several more.

But I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to return to an old book now filling the shelves in Phnom Penh or Siem Reap. But using a Kindle or other eReader means you can carry around half the British Library for the weight of, well, a Kindle. I just wish they sold them here.

Anyway, as I was finally getting round to saying, I'm very pleased with the feedback and sales of my eBook so far. But I was surprised just how many people said they would rather wait for the printed version.

So I realise you need to do both, and hopefully it should be available on Amazon et al in a couple of weeks. (Other people said they hadn't got a Kindle and wanted to know how else they could read it. There is a free Kindle reader app you can download for your computer, CLICK HERE - it was very quick and easy, and worked pretty well on my knackered laptop.)

The recommendations I've had for my book on Twitter and the online reviews on Amazon have been far better than I ever hoped. One of the most entertaining things has been checking the hourly-updated sales figures on Amazon's Kindle bestseller charts. After a flurry of good reviews last week, my book hit number nine in the Food and Drink chart. Number nine! Way above Nigella, Delia, and the two hairy bastards, and even higher than the Unofficial Harry Potter Cookbook.

But counting chickens and all that, when I just checked it had slipped out of the top 40 to number 43. Anyway, I know it's a shameless plug, but without a marketing or PR budget, I need every bit of help and luck I can get. So below are the reviews and Twitter recommendations I've had so far in case you're flirting with the idea of reading it. And if you have read it, and liked it, please leave a review on its Amazon page.

Book blurb:

"Reading 'Down and Out in Padstow and London' is a serious test for any food writer. Not only has Alex Watts done what all of us say we would like to do, tested his mettle in a professional kitchen, he also writes about his experiences so well that you spend as much time being jealous of his writing skills as you do of his experiences. It's an annoyingly enjoyable read." - Simon Majumdar, author of two food/travel memoirs, Eat My Globe and Eating For Britain.

Twitter Comments:

"Two chapters in to Alex Watts' book & bloody LOVING it. Engaging, laugh-out-loud funny, incredibly readable. & TWO QUID!" - @chrispople

"It's a fab read. The Fat Duck chapters are class." - @Mcmoop

"If you claim to be a foodie you MUST buy this book." - @CorkGourmetGuy

"Just rattled through Down And Out in Padstow and London by Alex Watts in no time at all, what a great book." - @leejamesburns

"It's brilliant, a fine piece of work. If you've ever wanted to peer into a professional kitchen I can't recommend it highly enough." - @acidadam

"Fantastic read - the English Kitchen Confidential!" - @cabbagemechanic

"A great eBook to buy about serving your time (literally!) as a trainee chef." - @OkBayBach

"Great read." - @rankamateur

"Don't start reading it if you have things to do:)" - @NorthernSnippet

"Great book...couldn't put it down, read it non-stop on a train and finished it in one day." - @chunkymunki

"Really enjoyed your book. Thanks and good luck! As a closet wannabe chef it really hit the mark :) Good on you for taking the plunge!" - @el-duder

"Jolly good read, feel free to do one more." - @esbens

There are also nine reviews here on its Amazon page...

In the fairness of balance, it is only right for me to mention the negatives as well. I've had two so far. The first being that the book is quite short (70,000 words), and the second was a tweet from Glasgow-born award-winning journalist and screenwriter Audrey Gillan, who described Rick Stein's executive chef's Glaswegian accent as "pure murdurr - nae Glaswegians speak like that - evur".

I've just checked again, and it's now number 47 - one place behind Farting The Beans by Clarissa Dickson Wright, but nine above Stein's My Kitchen Table: 100 Fish And Seafood Recipes.

Oh well, small acorns and all that, but if the book does ever get anywhere, they could always use Brad Pitt for the Scotch part.

MORE: Down And Out In Padstow And London Pt 1

Pitching Confidential: How Not To Get A Food Book Published

To buy my book, CLICK HERE.