From Ramsay To Rourke

Gordon Ramsay may have a face like a chihuahua’s bollock, but this is a bit severe isn’t it? I know he’s been wrestling with problems over the past couple of years, culminating in a huge tax demand, a massive drop in popularity and a public falling out with his in-laws - but changing into Mickey Rourke is a tad extreme...

He’s already had his teeth whitened (about as close as the former carrot chopper gets to whites these days) and Botox injections to flatten out his crinkle-cut chin.

Now the 44-year-old foul-mouthed fop has shelled out £30,000 for a hair transplant, and by the look of today’s News of the World, a hell of a lot of other work to turn him into the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man in Ghostbusters.

Apparently, the hair treatment clinic in Los Angeles he left sporting a surgical cap is pioneering a new Willy Wonka-style procedure which allows vain celebrities (are there any others?) to see themselves as they would be in a different life.

They say you end up with the face you deserve, and this is Ramsay if he had ducked out of catering college and taken up the popular Scottish vocations of alcoholism, chip munching and recounting tales of an imagined football career (oh no, the last bit is true...)

Or perhaps it is the Ramsay as he would have been had he spent the last 15 years actually working behind the stoves of his crumbling business empire along with his overworked, underpaid chefs, rather than brown-nosing Simon Cowell and jumping in front of every TV camera this side of Jupiter like the media whore he is today.

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